I'm a wimp

[zoon]

I used to jump anything, and although I can never say had a Velcro bum as I was always coming off, I had enough balls to face whatever came my way.

2 years back I bought a pretty successful eventer who's forte was SJ to jump BSJA after years on ponies (I'm only a short ass, but its difficult to make those strides on a little one!)

We were doing damned well with Newcomers and I was getting used to his quirks (he was sold as a v successful but equally difficult ride).

Then one day in September we were jumping a quite simple course and were coming up to a big oxer with a water tray underneath - he backed off a bit, but I pushed him on and he jumped it as he's an honest horse. Unfortunately he was on a c**p stride and sort of cat leaped it. I was unseated and came off landing and the jump. The ned simply couldn't cat leap high enough and also landed on the jump. so there I was, squashed between jump and horse.

Luckily I came away with only a broken arm and the neddy was fine. So he had a 6 week holiday while I sported a rather fetching cast. Then just as my cast was coming off he was kicked out in the field.

He's just coming back into work now and I'm starting to jump him again both loose and on the lunge. He's not lost any of his ability, although he's finding it a bit difficult on the right rein (right hock injured when he was kicked so that side is weaker)

I tried to jump him we me on board last week and last night and I just can't do it. I managed a 2ft (if that!) cross pole but couldn't bring myself to go at it in canter. I've been looking forward to jumping again, but I'm as stiff as a board and he even refused the little x pole once because I'm sitting so stiff on his back and not giving with my hands because I'm scared stupid!

I know that I need to start small as he's not hugely fit yet, and its not the size that bothers me - its that I was happily jumping over 4 ft less than a year ago and now I have lost all the confidence that made me a good rider sot hat I can't even manage a little cross pole

Does anyone have any tips to help me get it back???

[Maes Seren]

Im sorry, i really cant help you with this, but i can say is that im in exactly the same boat as you.
My honest mare who i came off when jumping a 7 bounce grid last summer, now will jump for anyone but me, as when faced with even a pole on the ground, i was petrified. I got used to working around poles, then i got used to going over poles, but i still have that thought that she might do the same jump that she did last year which knocked us both.

She never refused, but now all i can get her to do is stop.

I took her XC schooling the other week, it was great, but the only thing i confidently managed was steps up and down and jumping into and out of water. Everything else was a major panic. She must have sensed it, as she reared up midfield.

I used to panic about even riding around jumps, so id demolish them to poles, if not completely put them away. Last time i rode she was being a git, but the time before that i rode around jumps.

Its killing me at the thought that theres jumps up that last year i would have jumped easily, and i broke down crying to my friend (who has never seen me cry before as i dont usually cry out infront of people) as she wanted me to jump a *one hole* cross.

I jumped half a grid the other week on her and loved it. I walked her over it inhand first, before walking over it onboard, then cantering thru it. Meant to be raised trotting poles, but as shes so small she was jumping them as a grid. I loved it, but it doesnt mean that i have the guts to go out there and do it again.

[abi]

everytime you go to jump, you'll subconciously think of the acciden and it'll put you off.
start really, really slowly, the cross pole idea is good, and if you're only comfy jumping it from trot, keep at it for a bit longer, until you feel confident to go faster.

do you have a confident friend who will jump him for you? as he's not lost any ability, it might help seeing someone else bring out his potential, if they can do it you can too!

breathe. you might be stiff because you hold your breath? sing or hum as you ride, it'll force you to breathe! could also relax your horse too. when you feel yourself tense, stop for a minute. calm down, and physically make your muscles relax, especially your bum, as this seems to have most effect!
its really hard at furst, but one you can relax your muscles it makes life a lot easier, mine now only spooks at tractors if im tense, when im relaxed, shes fine.
good luck! xx

[brigadier]

If you were reading this Zoon you would tell whoever it was that they need to go slow and build themselves up again. Youve had a fright and your body and mind will get over it just as soon as you give yourself the time. build yourself little easy courses and practice getting the turns and the distances and the approaches right, dont think about height or width. It will do wonders for your confidence as you will gain in technical ability. Then as you start jumping bigger things again you will be all the more competent and confident!
brig

[FirenLady]

*hugs* what a terrible experience. You've done really well to get back on board! brigadier is completley right about taking it back to the beginning. Try not to put any pressure on yourself, i always found that if i told myself i was gonna jump it would make me feel really anxious but if just played by ear i felt much better. if it goes well and you want to jump then great but if you dont feel like it the it doesn't matter. Perhaps just do polework till it feels fun, then if you fancy it do some cross poles. Remember it is meant to be fun!

[racaille]

Grief girl, do yourself a favour! You're no wimp - quite the opposite! After a scary fall like that I'm not sure I'd have got back on ... ever...
Brig and co are right though. I used to be the ultimate flying-through-the-air-on-my-own rider over jumps and I know - oh boy - what it is to lose confidence. Back to basics is the only way back, but also it does help enormously to take the pressure off by saying: I don't have to do it if I don't want to. Quite often I will say to my trainer, during jumping lessons: "Erm, I think I'll stop now." And that is fine. Sometimes she'll respond: 'Do you want to do just one at this new height to finish on a good note?" and I'll often say yes, because it's just one to finish on, if you see what I mean. Then it goes well and I'm on a roll and we finish the course. There's no pressure and it goes great.
But confidence is a funny old thing, isn't it?

[duckles]

Zoon, I had a really bad accident last summer. I was badly injured and unable to drive, ride etc for 6 weeks. Actually it was meant to be more but i was back to it sooner than I should)I was expecting nerves and I had them but managed to get over them soon enough in my usual fashion of just doing it - that is except for jumping. This kind of floored me as I wasn't used to this. I kept jumping in the belief that it would get better and it didn't. I was frightened. I didn't enjoy it and my natural rhythm and feel seemed to have gone out the window. (Like you said as stiff as a board). I read advice in this forum, from someone (I can't remember who as I didn't read it reguarly then) and they said that they had lost their nerve jumping so they just left it for a year and then went back with absolutely no problem. So I thought to myself, maybe leave it for a bit. As it happened my horse has been out of action more or less since then but I was jumping my other horse today (he's very unfit) and I wasn't afraid. My rhythm and feel had come back although I did feel a tiny bit nervous when he got a bit bolshy (he's that type of horse) but nothing bad. Obviously I don't know if it will be the same when I'm jumping JB (the horse who flung me into fence) but I think i should be ok. Guess what i am saying is, leave it until time is right. If you are a jumper, you will be itching to jump soon but when your ready but leave it until you are ready. Another thing is to try jumping outside the arena, like logs in the field etc - they won't have the same scare factor as the show jumps have and might kind of trick your memory (which is warning you against jumping!!!) Good luck- keep us posted and I will also let you know how I'm getting on. x

[zoon]

Thanks guys. I keep telling myself that I will just leave it for a bit and see what happens. But I keep thinking that I'm wasting my horse just letting him be used for schooling. That sounds awful, but I can't hack him and now I'm just schooling him to keep him fit - but for what reason?? I even thought about selling him the other day as he seems wasted with me. But I don't think I'd trust anyone else with him. I kinda feel guilty about not doing anything with him.

Think I might book a jumping lesson for wednesday and see what happens. Ben is good and will let me pop over little ones and think I'd feel happier having someone tell me what to do!

[zara]

You are not a wimp, you are just having an attack of nerves. I know exactly how you feel and some days I am just too scared to even get on my horse let alone jump him! This problem affects many of us, only tonight I was chatting to 2 girls on my yard and between us we must have getting on for a 100 yrs of experience but we all have a confidence problem! You are not alone, just hang in there and set yourself small, achievable goals and try to enjoy your horse. i'm sure you're boy doesn't feel "wasted" just as long he is fed, loved and happy Zx

[only1wu]

Hello!

No way are you a wimp. You have had a very bad experience. When you fall off and can get straight back on, then it's not so hard. If you come back after several weeks, then you really can't expect to be exactly where you were before.

First thing: forget about the expectations of the horse. He does not give a damn about jumping 4 feet and winning rosettes. No horse goes to a show on his own. He only did it for you, and if you don't want to do it now, he will be fine with that.

Would he really want you to sell him?? If he is happy where he is, then you know the answer to that.

So now you start from the beginning. I'm not sure why you can't hack him out, because that would be great for you both. Summer is here, the countryside is beautiful and you could just potter about enjoying yourselves. Sing him a song. Horses are very musical.

Above all, enjoy where you are now. There is no need to look back or forward. Life is great just where it is. Your horse lives in the now, and you can too.

In a while. you might rise up and decide to go over the trotting poles. Fine. Or not. Equally fine.

Above all, don't beat yourself up. I'm sure your horse doesn't regard you as a wimp.

Best wishes to you both.

Wu

[abi]

if your both happy as you are, stick with it.

nobody who sits on a horse is a wimp, theyre much bigger and heavier than us, stronger in a fight and after all, are wild animals.

hes there to enjoy, do what you find most fun. as only1wu says, it makes no difference to his state of mind what he does, does he really think "id love to do some cantering today"?

to help bond, try tail massage. gently but firmly massage his dock and flex it slowly in circles and up and down, doesnt work for all horses but mine nearly goes to sleep, lvoes it and really helps the bond between you!

keep at it xx

[gnuton]

Hi Zoon;

That was a wicked tumble you took. No wonder you're nervous about jumping again.

I don't know if this will help you but it works for me and I've had a few tumbles over the past 4 years and 3 of them were damaging enough to keep me out of the saddle for 2 or 3 months.

I use visualization. I picture everything about that particular day from how I was emotionally, mentally and physically to how Hunter was from the moment he greeted me at the gate and all the way through till the time I hit the ground.

As I go through this process I'm able to pinpoint different things that I would change if I had to do it all over again. Things like, it was really windy that day and Hunter was acting a little antsy, or I was really achy and tired and shouldn't have ridden that day. I picture how I was sitting in the saddle, holding the reins, was I balanced, was I concentrating on the actual riding or did I let my mind drift.

Than I visualize the dumping incident but inside my head I correct whatever it was that that had gone wrong. I go over it and over it again and again on how I would handle the same situation if it ever came up again but this time Hunter and I are just totally awesome. We do everything beautifully and ride through the problem successfully.

What you are doing with this exercise is replacing the negative results with a positive outcome inside your brain. Your body will react to whatever your brain is thinking no matter how subliminal the message is.

You are also putting yourself back in control and being in control of a situation will give you your confidence back.

I think this is called neuropathic mapping. Studies have been done with athletes performances. Half of a basketball team spent a week practicing putting the basketball through the hoop while the other half spent the time visualizing the basketball going through the hoop. After the week was up they were all tested on their accuracy and the visualization half were more successful sinking the baskets.

I hope you find this information, as well as all the other suggestions to be helpfull.

[zoon]

Well I've certainly found something that helps - having someone yell at me and take the mick for being a wimp!

Decided to blow away some cobwebs by taking a wander down the road to my old yard to do some clear round jumping - my plan being to trot round a tiny course to give Zoon a bit of a change from schooling at home

OH put the course down to below 2ft and the yard owners son appeared and started taking the mick out of me for being a wimp. Certainly bought out my competitive side - so off I went in a quite forward canter determined to get over all the jumps (swear horse wondered what was going on wth this course of "trot poles")

Decided to be brave and do another course a tiny bit bigger, but found YO son and OH putting them up to about 2'3 - 2'6 and even sticking all the scary fillers in. Cue major protests from me and lots of p*** taking from them. So after some cursing on my behalf, off we went again and to be honest did a better round than with the tiny ones.

Didn't go clear either time, but very proud we got round with no run outs of refusals as that was my only aim. First time Zoon was pretty much stepping over them they were so small and he caught one, and the second time he was a bit too forward (entirely my fault as I was pushing him on too much so he didn't stop) and managed to catch the second element of all the doubles because his stride was too long.

So my aims for next time - to steady it up a bit and get the nice bouncy canter back and to swear less (or just swear quieter!) so I don't get banned for bad language!

[racaille]

He he Zoon, sometimes it works like that, doesn't it? Good for you. ;D

[Becca]

not very orthodox but if it works for you? if you are competitive that can take over thoughts of being scared so well done you

[FirenLady]

Yay! Thats awesome. I'm really pleased for you. *will try that one*