took sebastian out. not good

[granniesboy]

Had Sebastian now 3 weeks and so far all ok. More forward going than I am used to but have a lesson booked for tomorrow.HOWEVER, took him out for the first time this morning with hubby on foot. Didn't get very far as he totally over reacted to the cycles and motor bike on the road. He was fine going down the farm track, having a good look around but that was ok. when we got on the road he started spinning around at stuff and really getting flustered. Heaven knows how he would have been with heavy stuff. I am totally heartbroken and disappointed. He's been so quiet to handle and I just wasn't expecting him to react. My stipulation was that he had to be bombproof and was sold as that. Now I don't know what to do. He's on 3 months warranty to exchange. I don,t have anyone to ride out with on a regular basis so i'm really stumped. Thats why i had to be able to ride out on our own. Do I try again or what.

[fleabitten]

hi grannies boy. The thing i would be most concerned about would be your confidence. When we had Princess she scared me within a few weeks of having her and we would probably have been best to take action then one way or another. Instead, we ploughed on and tried to get help in various ways but it didnt help and we ended up selling her anyway - but too late for blood tests and too late for to send her back with money back etc etc.

I would take your lesson tomorrow with your instructor and explain it all to her. You can either say - right, this isnt the horse that i asked for, im sending him back asap; or you could try for another few weeks and see if he settles down (as he is still relatively new and may just be finding it hard to settle) with the help of your instructor etc.

If it is just the way he is, it is up to you whether you want to work through his issues or send him back and look for a bombproof hack again.

What is your gut feeling about his reaction to hacking out? Do you think it is a matter of him needing to settle? Or is this just the way he is? Did you hack him out when you went to view him? Or see him hacked out?

I think what you need to decide will depend on your gut feeling - your confidence and happiness has to come first in this situation and there is no shame in admitting that he isnt right. Horses cost enough without being stuck with one you are unhappy with.

Have a good think through it and try and assess it from an outsiders point of view.

With hindsight I have regretted not taking action or doing things differently with the 3 I had. Now that ive come through it and been influenced by other sources when thinking back on it, i feel it would have been better to have done some things differently. And also i can now see some things which i didnt see at the time and regret not taking the proper action on it.

Good luck

[solomon]

He may still be ok, but Flea is absolutely right, he must not be allowed to shatter your confidence. Have your lesson and a good chat with the instructor. Maybe she would take him out for you to get an assessment of him minus your understandable butterflies. Don't give up he could still come good. They sometimes take a long time to settle in a new home.

[kitcat]

I was going to suggest the same as Sol, see if your instructor will take him down the road and give you her/his (?) opinion. If you're not happy then you ccould talk to the dealer about your options and get more information about how often he was ridden on the roads by them and his previous owners.

Good luck and I hope you get things sorted.

[haffyfan]

I think you need to chat to your instructor firstly...then if your confident enough is there any chance of hacking him out with someone else to see if this affects things? After all he's young and green and in a new enviroment, he may just need more time to settle down, regain his confidence and grow confidence in his Mummy etc.

[granniesboy]

Have been on the verge of tears all day and i really appreciate all you good and kind words of support. I will have my lesson tomorrow with mel and a good chat as she knows me very well and i totaly trust her. I had thought of asking her to assess him. when i tried him i hacked him out with another horse but it was mainly off road. around here there is not alot of off road. Although i ride my other horse around the farm, he's totally scared of the road after an accident with a truck before i took him on when my friend went abroad. I wanted to get further afield mainly up onto the moors. I am not a competant enough rider to work through any issues he may have. At one point today i just wanted someone to take him away. I didn,t want an exchange just my money back and forget any dreams of being able to hack out quietly like every body else.

[granniesboy]

Fleabitten. Your reply was very interesting, I'm interested in what your issues where, how you dealt with them and what you now think you'd have done differently. If you don't mind me asking.

[solomon]

I too bought a horse that was safe on the roads and didn't hack on my own for seven months. Horses do need to trust you. If they have had an accident that is different. But you need to give it enough time for a bond to grow. Pete and I are only now starting to know and trust each other enough to try new things. First hack I did with a friend I could have cried when i got back he jogged and snorted for an hour and a half. I wondered what on earth I had done. If you had told me then I would canter him on my own in the woods I would have laughed in your face! But I do!

[haffyfan]

It's never as bad as it semed the next day grannies boy hopefully your lesson will help.
It's interesting you tried him with another horse...it might be worth asking if he honestly actually ever has hacked alone and done much road work.....as he's so young it may just be a confidence issue doing it alone at the minute.

Also different peoples idea of Bomproof (or indicators can vary) I have loads of instant off road hacking so mine would be petrified of cars passing on a road etc as never really done road work (literally never in harrys case) however they don't bat an eyelid generally at HUGE tractors/trailers etc as live on a large arable farm and tractors passing by pulling huge contraptions is a normal part of daily life. Some would see them and no doubt assume them bomproof on account of this but show them a car.....

[scattymare]

Oh no Granniesboy, not a good start.
I think Flea is absolutely right, your safety and confidence need to come first. However, it is early days and horses do take time to settle in a new place with a new mum. They will also try it on to test the boundaries. When I got P the first time I took him out, even he dug his heels in and refused to budge - until I got behind him (I had nil confidence at this point) Now this was the first and only time he did it - he didn't put a hoof out of line ever again - he was just being plain stubborn and testing the water.
Have a good chat with your instructor today. Try taking Seb out in hand to see how he reacts to traffic - is he just trying it on with you on board.
I assume he came from a dealer? Are they trustworthy? Will they exchange/refund without hassle?
So sorry you feel awful so soon. But don't give up just yet. There could still be a partnership made in heaven there yet.

[racaille]

Whoa, GB, slow down hun! You've only had him three weeks so he's still a newbie. And you'd be surprised, when you say 'hack out alone like everybody else', how relatively few people do!!

So here's what I think you should do: remember what a massive thing it is you are asking of Seb, it goes against every horsey instinct he has. So he needs a bit of help, a bit of a confidence boost - and he needs time to learn to trust you as his herd leader.

I think it would be worth taking him out in hand first, gently does it, on some quiet roads and see how he reacts. He should take confidence from having you in front, but remember it is early days for a deep bond to have formed. (Even the mad mare who was dangerous in traffic, became a lamb if I was in front of her.)

Try and build Seb's confidence that way. He may well be fine in traffic, but he's had a lot of changes to cope with recently and it will have left him feeling jittery. And if your riding confidence is not 100% (and I'd be surprised if it was, on a new horse) he'll pick that up too, poor boy.

So I think you need to get to know each other out and about, taking it slowly.

There is no shame in getting off and walking along roads anyway. I do it a lot, even though Paco is now genuinely bombproof (he wasn't always). I think it is often safer to walk beside a horse in busy traffic - it makes you a wider obstacle to pass, so drivers have to overtake properly rather than try to squeeze past. And even P has his terrors (angle grinders), so then I slide off quietly and he'll follow me, trembling. But P and I have been together six years and he wasn't always such a gent! He used to dump me all the time - at least Seb doesn't do that!

Good luck, hun. I think you'll find it all gets easier!

[bonnyben]

GB, I totally echo Racaille. He IS brand new to you and YOU to him, he has a lot to get used to and so have you.

Take it very steady, "make haste slowly" is a favourite motto of mine, and when you really think about it, it makes sense. What is the rush?? One step at a time - let your confidence grow slowly and Seb's as well, it's all new to him too!!

Your lesson today will, I am sure, make you feel 100% better than you felt yesterday.

Draw a line under that hack, don't dwell on it - in my experience remembering something like that just makes it more and more amplified in your own mind, the remembrance is worse than the actual experience...!!

Good luck GB - we are all rooting for you, have a drop of karma for luck..

[solomon]

Yes it's agood point BB makes about drawing a line and moving on we can't change the past so forget it. Move on and be as positive as you can. Good luck with your lesson.

[zara]

GB I really feel for you and completely understand how you are feeling. I echo all the above, take your time but if he really isn't the one send him back before it is too late or you get too attached. Good luck Zx

[granniesboy]

Yesterday I felt awful Sulked all day.Today my mind is not much clearer but i feel better. However I went down to them this morning and couldn't bear to look at him. I am having my lesson tonight and I must take a step backwards. I have also emailed the dealer with my concerns. She came very well recomended and has been in the bussiness 30 years. So will see what my instructor and she have to say. I also feel such an old fool. Also my other horse whom I adore despite all his faults is being a real poppet and giving me kisses and cuddles.

[fleabitten]

i will pm you granniesboy.

[fimacg]

GB I have been there too,

Brave was totally safe and bombproof when I tried him, out on his own and in company but it took him 8 months to settle properly. I have no shame in saying I got off him several times in the 1st few months as we spooked, danced, and occasionally bolted for home. my confidence hit the skids - again, but we have come through it and come out stronger. I wouldn't now part with him for the world, we go galloping through fields, hack up roads and he generally now doesn't bat an eyelid even when a pheasant appears from beneath his feet - however that patch of grass over there is suspicious.

Seb will also be feeling your nerves and tenseness so will also be wondering what there is to be scared of. He is also new and needs to get used to his surroundings give him and yourself time. The dealer you bought him off is well known and reputable so wouldn't be conning you.

Hopefully your instructor will put you on the right path with him but honestly it doesn't happen over night.

But what helped me was naf magic, clamed Brave right down so we could get over a lot of things. BB is right don't dwell on the bad but concentrate on the good.

[duckles]

HI GB - I think that excellent advice has been offered here. So I will say something different! Although I agree with all that is said - if you buy a bombproof hacker, well he should be bombproof even if you are nervous. I know that even the best of horses can deteriorate and I know that all of them tend to be unsettled in a new home BUT I still think if you bought him as bombproof - then what happened shouldn't have happed. Yes of course, if he was inexperienced or young etc, he would need a certain amount of training but I gather (and I may be wrong) that this is not the case. Ive know loads of horses over the years who hacked out perfectly on their own from day one and loads that were difficult but improved over the years and even some who started off great and went downhill. So I don't think that what you want is impossible and I don't think you should think it is your fault.
How did it go with your instuctor?

[granniesboy]

Lesson with mel my RI went well. Told her everything that i'd said to you all and every thing that had happened. She rode him first for me to assess him. She said in hand he' s great, well manered and very mature for his 4 years. Riden,she said he's very green and would not have been first choice for me. Not naughty at all and feels he'll learn quickly. How ever she thinks we can all work together by teaching me to teach him. Getting him balanced and listening. The road work is another story for another day and it should not have happened. When i rode him in the lesson under her guidence a lot fell into place and i came away very happy. I have another lesson booked for two weeks time. I am also waiting to hear back from the dealer whom i emailed with questions about exactly how much road work he'd done and telling her what had happened.

[fleabitten]

Well, granniesboy, glad your lesson went well. Your instructor sounds great - very helpful and supportive and honest. So I take it you are going to keep him and try to work through it?

i think the idea of having lessons is good and i would recommend anybody no matter what age of horse to continue with lessons for as long as possible.

id say though to be prepared for lots of hard work and many many speed bumps. however, there will also be wonderful achievements too.

[racaille]

Heavens, I had no idea he was so very young!

[solomon]

I think it would be a lot for any four year old to be called bomb proof. They are so young.

[brigadier]

Very interesting this and GB I feel for you. I rode Basil out when he was rising four and he ws bombproof, however as he got stronger and more switched on he has gone the other way, still safe but requires riding at times if that makes sense. Your fella sounds the other way, a touch green and will need confidence to become a good hack. If you are nervous then it could all go wrong. However as always with this sort of thing I would suggest long reining to get him going forward. It doesnt matter how inexperienced you are for this, its easy to learn and for Sebastian will tick all the boxes. You can continue to learn on him during your lessons, but then see how he copes from the ground whilst long reining. Ask your instructor to teach you, you wont regret it!!! also agree with Duckles though. A good dealer will look at your ability and select the correct horse for you, if you are nervous a four year old however calm is stretching it a bit, so you may have some comeback if you do decide he isnt for you! Where in North Yorks are you? Im East Yorks but get up there riding sometimes, did the Helmsley endurance last week.

[maximum]

Reading through this I was thinking how there is some good advice re giving him time to settle etc and then I read he is 4!!

I am sorry but how can any 4 year old be bombproof? at that age they need the confidence of the rider so that when a scary situation arises the rider can deal with it and help the young horse through its worries - if you don't think that you can and hacking alone is what you want to do i can only see real problems ahead.

I have seen too often the confidence of both a horse and a rider destroyed by a few dodgy outings and it can very quickly escalate into serious danger not just for the horse and rider but for those who are using the road at the same time. The end result will be a horse who gets labelled dangerous and a rider whose confidence is shot to hell.

Please think long and hard about this one GB - I would hate for this to happen to you but if you want a confidence giver and are not able to deal with any issues that will arise ( and they will with a youngster) then get something older and more experianced. I KNOW some young horses are very calm etc but the majority are not. As Zara said better sooner before you get too attached.

i don't mean to sound harsh and I hope I havn't come across as that but I have seen too many dreadful things happen when young inexperianced horses are sold as 'bombproof' ' not green' etc and I really am worried for you and my mantra is 'WE DO IT FOR FUN' and if this gets to be a habit I don't see much fun for you GB.

[fleabitten]

maxi, what you described sounds like what happened to me!

would totally agree with maxi but as ive said before you can take it a few weeks with your RI and see what the craic is nobody can say you didnt try. also you have also admitted that you dont think you are competent and confident enough to deal with him so i think there is your answer there.

it can be all good with your RI there and leave you feeling positive but it will be back to square 1 when she is gone.

saying that, good luck for the next few weeks and hope you make the right decision for yourself