Post by arumanii on Apr 28, 2009 17:59:12 GMT
Well... since everyone asked so nicely...
Was schooling a horse for someone else. Only had a field & whatever I could find hacking. I'd put up a few little logs in the woods but I didn't have any jumps to practice with anywhere else. Had a nice flat field to ride in too & wanted to show off how nice the horse's jump was!
So... as the owner wasn't very fit or up for travelling to the woods (or riding the horse full stop -strange woman!) I thought I'd just carry a small one back to the field to make a narrow jump with.
NB Has anyone ever tried mounting with a heavy stick in one hand? It took several attempts even after she got bored of spooking away from it! I am not the best at mounting on a normal day!
Eventually managed to mount without impaling myself -just! -and set off back up the road carrying it with one hand across her shoulders as it wasn't too big.
No issues getting back really -one minor spook where I nearly dropped it but jsut in the nick of time remembered how much effort it was to mount with it in one hand and forfeited seat, balance, composure, everything to ensure I didn't drop it...oh n then stopped the horse from going sideways!
Unfortunately, it wasn't long enough for my purposes and I couldn't even get a decent leanto jump using the fence.
So...
Back we trotted to the woods in search of The Bigger Stick! (it deserved capitals -sorry)
The Bigger Stick was easily located...but not so easily mounted with. She didn't like it. I didn't like it. And there was no way I had the strength or balance to work it.
So back home we plodded. Dejected and without The Fabled Bigger Stick!
Somehow over the course of the next few days my recollection of The Bigger Stick became less accurate. Somehow the stick was much smaller and the task of mounting and transporting so much simpler. One hardly knew why I'd given up in the first place!
Three days later back to the woods we went!
NB Anyone still here? Popcorn and Fanta for everyone still awake!
But alas...
The Bigger Stick had once again grown to mamoth proportions! Determined (read stubborn!) I decided I'd drag it back and lead yon spooky mare...who then refused to spook at all! She didn't care that The Bigger Stick was dragging along the ground very loudly. She didn't even care when I dropped it and made even more noise. Damn unpredictable animals!
So I found a wall. Someone's garden wall to be exact. Propped The Bigger Stick up against it and got on. Reached down to The Bigger Stick and yon spooky mare accidentally (I was very unimpressed!) accidentally kicked it over. So off I get again...prop stick...back on (ok so the remount wasn't that fast...she was a big horse and I'm short n fat
)
This time whilst remounting I kicked The Bigger Stick over! Was ready to grr and call it a day when little old lady who owned the ever so useful stick propping garden wall bustles out and asks if I've fallen off! Manage to explain the situation without feeling tooo ridiculous and yon little lady delivers up the end of The Fabled Bigger Stick of Heavenly Proportions! Horray!!!
Unfortunately, whilst dragging yon Heavenly Great Bigger Stick down the road -making quite a racket that yon spooky mare was ignoring as though pretending she wasn't anything to do with me or my stick! -we were pulled over by a passing police car!
Terrified of being charged for riding under the influence of The Stick we pulled over slowly as instructed and placed yon mare in as close to park as she ever got -read shuffling on spot impatiently and kept hands in full sight on whe...reins.
Officer approached whilst partner waited in car in case he needed to give sudden chase.
Officer asked if ok. Answer...err yeah. Officer then says 'that's a big stick.' Luckily I managed not to say something along the lines of no foul smelling poopy Sherlock and just nodded.
Dancing mare then danced a little closer to him and snorted, loudly! Two quick steps back (a 16.1 Irish Draft prancing near ur unprotected feet will do that even to a PO) and a grin with the statement 'wanna hand' turned Mr Police Office Sir into Mr Police Officer Knight in Shining Armour with Diploma in Rescuing Heroines from Evil Sticks that are just toooo heavy on purpose Sir!
Yon Knight signalled to partner and door was opened. Evil Mucky Stick was cuffed (ok it wasn't! Ur spoiling the story tho...) and thrown in the back seat of the patrol vehicle without having been read its rights!
Along with police escort we returned victorious to the field! Yon stick was dumped, then positioned and jumped very high over to reward the valiant knights who had assisted.
Poor Knights however were not of the most cautious and one was heard to remark too loudly 'anything else we can do for you?'
Foolish!
Hahahahaha! Never had they met before a woman so lazy as to waste valuable police time in such a manner as transporting large and dirty sticks from woods to field so unsuspecting they were of my response!
'Well... I could do with a few more logs if u happen to be going down that way' (didn't mention the oh yeah and back up this way again!)
A shrug and off charged the knights -it was assumed back to their careful policing business - but nay! The Valiant Rescuers returned victorious having defeated and brought low over ten large and sturdy filthy logs! Some even greater the The Fabled Bigger Stick! Yes, such was possible!
I felt I had to atleast offer them a coffee then -they had been gone about twenty minutes picking sticks int eh woods for me!
But nay, such heroism needs no reward and the Valiant Knights continued on their quest to defend and protect the realm from speeding cars and evil sticks!
Now I bet u regret asking me to share! Sorry -I got a little carried away! Ok, a LOT carried away! lol
Was schooling a horse for someone else. Only had a field & whatever I could find hacking. I'd put up a few little logs in the woods but I didn't have any jumps to practice with anywhere else. Had a nice flat field to ride in too & wanted to show off how nice the horse's jump was!
So... as the owner wasn't very fit or up for travelling to the woods (or riding the horse full stop -strange woman!) I thought I'd just carry a small one back to the field to make a narrow jump with.
NB Has anyone ever tried mounting with a heavy stick in one hand? It took several attempts even after she got bored of spooking away from it! I am not the best at mounting on a normal day!
Eventually managed to mount without impaling myself -just! -and set off back up the road carrying it with one hand across her shoulders as it wasn't too big.
No issues getting back really -one minor spook where I nearly dropped it but jsut in the nick of time remembered how much effort it was to mount with it in one hand and forfeited seat, balance, composure, everything to ensure I didn't drop it...oh n then stopped the horse from going sideways!
Unfortunately, it wasn't long enough for my purposes and I couldn't even get a decent leanto jump using the fence.
So...
Back we trotted to the woods in search of The Bigger Stick! (it deserved capitals -sorry)
The Bigger Stick was easily located...but not so easily mounted with. She didn't like it. I didn't like it. And there was no way I had the strength or balance to work it.
So back home we plodded. Dejected and without The Fabled Bigger Stick!
Somehow over the course of the next few days my recollection of The Bigger Stick became less accurate. Somehow the stick was much smaller and the task of mounting and transporting so much simpler. One hardly knew why I'd given up in the first place!
Three days later back to the woods we went!
NB Anyone still here? Popcorn and Fanta for everyone still awake!
But alas...
The Bigger Stick had once again grown to mamoth proportions! Determined (read stubborn!) I decided I'd drag it back and lead yon spooky mare...who then refused to spook at all! She didn't care that The Bigger Stick was dragging along the ground very loudly. She didn't even care when I dropped it and made even more noise. Damn unpredictable animals!
So I found a wall. Someone's garden wall to be exact. Propped The Bigger Stick up against it and got on. Reached down to The Bigger Stick and yon spooky mare accidentally (I was very unimpressed!) accidentally kicked it over. So off I get again...prop stick...back on (ok so the remount wasn't that fast...she was a big horse and I'm short n fat
) This time whilst remounting I kicked The Bigger Stick over! Was ready to grr and call it a day when little old lady who owned the ever so useful stick propping garden wall bustles out and asks if I've fallen off! Manage to explain the situation without feeling tooo ridiculous and yon little lady delivers up the end of The Fabled Bigger Stick of Heavenly Proportions! Horray!!!
Unfortunately, whilst dragging yon Heavenly Great Bigger Stick down the road -making quite a racket that yon spooky mare was ignoring as though pretending she wasn't anything to do with me or my stick! -we were pulled over by a passing police car!
Terrified of being charged for riding under the influence of The Stick we pulled over slowly as instructed and placed yon mare in as close to park as she ever got -read shuffling on spot impatiently and kept hands in full sight on whe...reins.
Officer approached whilst partner waited in car in case he needed to give sudden chase.
Officer asked if ok. Answer...err yeah. Officer then says 'that's a big stick.' Luckily I managed not to say something along the lines of no foul smelling poopy Sherlock and just nodded.
Dancing mare then danced a little closer to him and snorted, loudly! Two quick steps back (a 16.1 Irish Draft prancing near ur unprotected feet will do that even to a PO) and a grin with the statement 'wanna hand' turned Mr Police Office Sir into Mr Police Officer Knight in Shining Armour with Diploma in Rescuing Heroines from Evil Sticks that are just toooo heavy on purpose Sir!
Yon Knight signalled to partner and door was opened. Evil Mucky Stick was cuffed (ok it wasn't! Ur spoiling the story tho...) and thrown in the back seat of the patrol vehicle without having been read its rights!
Along with police escort we returned victorious to the field! Yon stick was dumped, then positioned and jumped very high over to reward the valiant knights who had assisted.
Poor Knights however were not of the most cautious and one was heard to remark too loudly 'anything else we can do for you?'
Foolish!
Hahahahaha! Never had they met before a woman so lazy as to waste valuable police time in such a manner as transporting large and dirty sticks from woods to field so unsuspecting they were of my response!
'Well... I could do with a few more logs if u happen to be going down that way' (didn't mention the oh yeah and back up this way again!)
A shrug and off charged the knights -it was assumed back to their careful policing business - but nay! The Valiant Rescuers returned victorious having defeated and brought low over ten large and sturdy filthy logs! Some even greater the The Fabled Bigger Stick! Yes, such was possible!
I felt I had to atleast offer them a coffee then -they had been gone about twenty minutes picking sticks int eh woods for me!
But nay, such heroism needs no reward and the Valiant Knights continued on their quest to defend and protect the realm from speeding cars and evil sticks!
Now I bet u regret asking me to share! Sorry -I got a little carried away! Ok, a LOT carried away! lol
- It was as if I was literally standing in the old ladies garden watching!!
Deffo worthy of a karma!
for so much hard work we thank ye!!
