can't cope anymore

[polishboy]

ron has finally frightened the life out of me today. took him out for a wander and he reared up, tanked off and when I got off it was impossible to walk him. it was his normal nappy nastyness plus spring grass, he's so big 17 2 bolt up right has completly knocked my confidence. I have just put him on line for sale. I am so sad, I love him so much but I do have a baby to think of. Am I doing the right thing.

[Blonde Donkey]

something that ceej said ages ago got me - what do you want us to tell you? do you want to let him go or do you think it's worth carrying on. adverts can be removed but it's hard to get horses back when they are sold. it is clear you love him which is always good.

[polishboy]

i've tried everything I always thought he was just misunderstood, I probably am looking for justification but I don't enjoy riding him because he can't be trusted and he really is too big and too expensive to keep as a large dog. my farrier wants him to take him hunting, maybe thats an answer.

[Blonde Donkey]

well could you loan him to the farrier to see how they get on and then maybe think about selling him?

[Maes Seren]

I think the same as Savkins, let the farrier take him over the hunting season, and see how he goes then.
If he goes well but farriers not interested in buying him for whatever reason and you're dead set on selling, next summer stick him up for sale as a hunter?

[martine]

Our horses are for pleasure, love and fun. Obviously, you are giving him love, but it sounds like you are not getting much love back, and certainly neither fun nor pleasure.
There IS a life out there. Sell him or loan him, come back to the real life where people don't HAVE to risk their life and sanity every day.

[brigadier]

HI there
Savkins maybe has a point.
I dont really know the history so maybe way of track here but what about having someone to school him for you- maybe send him away for a bit. That way you can work out whether you can do without him or you want him back, and if its the latter then he may come back a better horse!

I know what you mean about having the baby, Ive a little un and in riding my horse Im much more careful now than I used to be- I will always look for the line of least resistance- fourtunately it seems to work for me better than force so in a way Ive gained a new skill.

If it was me personally I think I would send him for re=training before the selling option then at least I would know Ive given him every chance. And theres absolutely no shame about getting someone else to have a go for you- Ive known horse come back absolute angels because theyve suddenly got the message!
brig

[FirenLady]

*Hugs* I've just decided to put my 2yo up for sale to, as i can no longer cope. She is generally very good and is just being a youngster bousterous and full of life. When your used to fairly steady neddies its a bit much though! I do not have the experience or the time to bring her on and it has stopped being fun for me. The livelyness scares me a bit. I feel tearful thinking about it cos we've made so much progress but i know its the right thing for her and me.

Why not try a loaning him and perhaps ride somethin quiet and steady for a bit. My Best friends nerves were racked by a bucking bronco cob shes now got a lovely pony about 14hh and they get on like a house on Fire.

At the end of the day riding is spouse to be fun and if its stopped being fun for you thats when you've got to move on.

Hope you manage to sort it out. Keep us posted. x

[kateflashy]

i think ill say the same try loaning him out or sending to re training give him the option ive found a lot of horses come back from a hunting season compleatly different animals

[scattymare]

Its such a hard decision to make and unfortunately you're the only one who can make the final decision. I made the choice to sell my pony a couple of years back because she was not getting enough attention and theres no way in the world I could part with Doof. It was such a tough decision but after she'd gone I felt like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. I loaned her first to make 100% sure I was doing the right thing and soon realised I was.
Ultimately its down to you but its no fun losing your confidence and not having any fun.
BIG HUGS XXX

[maximum]

just saw this

If he really is scaring you then I think it is time to move on. There are so many horses out there and it can take time to find the right one.

put it this way if he was a man you were posting about we would all be saying ' chuck him now because there will be a lovely man out there for you'!

The farrier may well want to hunt him but that is no help to you now until next october so I think sell him on and find something more suitable to being a mum. I have been there and you will not get anymore time until they go to school and he sounds like a high maintanence horse.

[racaille]

And I'm not really sure you get all that much more time even when they go to school! There's just that much more to do!
I do agree with Maximum. It is an easier option to delay the decision by loaning him out but there are risks: that he might be injured, or even come back hotter, and of course, there is a long wait for you. Retraining sounds expensive and with a baby you might not have that much spare cash (they are so little but cost so much!!!)
What I can tell you without fear of contradiction is that from now on you will have less free time rather than more as your baby becomes a toddler. This doesn't sound the ideal time to have a difficult/high maintenance horse.
Let him go to your farrier if you like, you will still get news of him at least. But do let him go. This is not a good time in your life to have the cr*p scared out of you. When you feel the time is right, get yourself a nice easy horse for the time being. Quite soon you may want to put junior on a pony and you'll want a good steady horse to hack out with the littlie.
Riding isn't supposed to be a test of nerves and you DO have to think about your other responsibilities. Don't beat yourself up; it's not your fault, just one of those things.

[aimee]

yeah everyone is right you should look forward to go seeing your horse and enjoy riding him. It shouldn't be a gut wrenching experience. You two are just to different for each other, its not yours or anyone elses fault. I like what Maxi said... "chuck him now because there will be a lovely man out there for you!"

Plus you now have a baby to think about. Sorry but he just sounds too dangerous. I really think you are doing the right thing. I know its hard, but it is in everyones best interests, including your horses. The right horse is just around the corner.

[ceej]

With Maxie on this one...being scared out of your wits doesnt do you, or the horse any good...
if you still feel the same now, a few days later, then maybe its time to move on...very rarely do these cases end up being a 'we went through lots of problems that scared the absolute sh*t out of me, but worked hard at it and got there in the end'....sometimes its not all about hard work its about self preservation and when you get to the point of fear - real fear - then hes not the horse for you. I shoudl know I have kissed lots of frogs (and become incredibly attached to them) before I found my prince (retch retch) - who aint perfect, not by a long chalk, but he doesnt frighten me - the first in a long line.

Now, you ahve had conflicting advice in this thread - which advice makes you feel better? The ones that make you think there is hope and you should try anything to keep him, or the ones that make you feel relieved because they say sell him?

thats your answer

[popsicle]

You definitely need to let your horse move on. There will be someone out there who can handle him and give him a good home. (Your Farrier perhaps). Keeping this horse is doing neither of you any good. Your fear will transfer to your horse and he will end up with even more problems than he has now.

I was in a similar situation a couple of years ago and EVENTUALLY decided to let my horse go, It was heartbreaking at the time, but she went to a long term more suitable home and I now have two horses who i feel very confident with. ;D

YOUR ARE DOING THE RIGHT THING -- HONEST!!