bit scary

[fleabitten]

Had my lesson today. Jumps are being taken out of the arena as the centre uses a different venue in the summer due to it being indoor only. Anyway, there was 8 jumps left so Helen suggested we make the most of them and I agreed. I hadnt planned on doing any jumping really - maybe a wee jump at the end or something. I hadnt really thought. But anyway, she set the course up and included 3 or 4 small spreads. I havent much experience with spreads really and have only jumped a handful really on Connie and perhaps one or two on my cousins cob.
We dont really do spreads at my RS.

Anyway, warmed up and wakened him up a bit with some transitions etc which was all fine even though he was still a bit dozy but an improvement!

I was nervous from the start but then again im always nervous. The strange thing was that I didnt enjoy any of my jumps today. I started off with a crosspole which was fine. Number 2 was at a height ive jumped before fine and enjoyed but my confidence mustnt have been right - perhaps I was worrying about having to jump the spread afterwards. Anyway, I trotted quite fast into it and he did a huge leap over it which was pretty scary. Anyway - tried to regain a bit of control and bravery to come round to the spread. Cantered into it but I didnt feel as in control as I usually do. He jumped it fine but it felt weird cos he usually jumps really rounded and it felt sort of flat.

Then we did the course I think. Started with number 1 which was a spread and i decided to trot into it this time. So he stopped dead in front of it and then jumped from a standstill and then ran off afterwards- I stayed on miraculously. But I must have pushed past my scared barrier and just started to cry. Then calmed down; Helen said he was maybe expecting to get smacked for stopping and thats why he ran off. Then attempted number 2 - he ran out and spun round and ran off again doing a bit of a mini buck. Maybe he was expecting to get smacked for running out too. Well, that just set me off again and I just felt to scared to jump any more. So we put all the jumps down and took the back rails off all the spreads.

Helen said that she wouldnt have made me do it. She said I should have said to her if the jumps were too high or even if I didnt want to jump at the start. But I thought that she wanted me to do it. I thought that I should do it. I maybe thought I was more confident than I actually am. Because it was all going so well and I was jumping confidently over the uprights at other times and I thought I could try the spreads even though they scared me a bit looking at them - they were no higher than any of the other jumps but they looked more intimidating I suppose.

Im used to being made to do stuff by my old RI. If was was sitting on the horse in fear she would have made me do it. Probably because I have the ability to do it and she thought that the more I did it then I would realise its not so bad. But it didnt make a pick of difference - maybe even made me worse.

Anyway, finished off by trotting round the wee course. Felt like such a crap rider - I was all over the place. Felt much happier doing jumps he practically trotted over but still didnt enjoy it. I usually love jumping him - every jump on him is usually fun and not scary.

It all stems from the time I said I would do a bigger jump and then the height was scary looking but I felt like I should do it. The horse ran out 3 times and when I did get over it I fell off. So it just taught me that jumping is scary. Then after that I fell off regularly when jumping. Brilliant.

Anyway, I dont think Im scared of Kieran. Hes such a good boy. But I think I will definetely be more nervous jumping the next time. I dont blame him. It different from Princess - probably because we click and I didnt click with her. I didnt even like her so when I got scared there was nothing holding us together anymore.

Anyway - nobody is disappointed in me for getting scared yet again, lol!

Ice lollies for all

[scattymare]

Flea just take your time. Don't do anything you're not comfortable with. It will just ruin the confidence you're building up. And Kieran will know you're nervous - he is such an honest pony I'm sure the stops and run outs were probably him thinking 'well if mum thinks it's scary then it must be'.
I think it's all to easy to think we're more over our confidence issues than we actually are - I'm in exacttly the same boat as you are. My confidence has soared since I started riding Patrick, but I am taking things very slowly as I know that one setback will take me back to where I started. It's frustrating in a way because I feel like i want to do more but don't quite trust myself to.
Trust your own instincts. Your old RI IMO had the totally wrong approach with you. Helen seems far more understanding. Talk to her about your fears.
Don't let this one incident set you back.

[mossh]

I'm like this as wll. My confidence was at its lowest not long ago, I wouldn't even get on Mattie at one point.
I had a couple of friends who stayed with me whilst i pushed through the scary barrier.
I've been taking things very very slowly and now my confidence is soaring. I've started jumping Mattie but only small and I won't go any higher untill I'm ready. Mattie is more than capable but sod him, one setback and I'm screwed.
Don't let anyone push you into this, only you know when you're ready and Helen seems a lot more understanding.
Well done for getting over the jumps though. It doesn't matter if they were small, you did it and you should be proud of yourself!!

[kitcat]

Don't beat yourself up Flea, these things happen and if you are not ready to push the boundaries of your comfort zone, then don't. You have a lovely pony and now have an understanding and supportive RI who will both help you to progress at your speed not someone elses! It seems that Kieren trusts you now so if he senses you are not committed to the jump then he won't be either. I think that if you just go back a step all will be well again. It just shows how well Helen believes you ride though doesn't it that she would set such a course for you.

[fimacg]

Flea - take your time, your confidence has come on leaps and bounds since you have had keiren and you have amazed me by how quickly you are starting to tackle new things, its not surprising you have had a wobble.

I terms of spreads yes they definately look a lot more intimidating so start small again, a little cross in front of a low pole it can even be something you walk over and these are where the polyjump multijump come into their own, if you can pursaude youe parents to by a couple of them for you, you could play about with little spreads in your field and in your own time put them up.

[dannyboy]

I think your getting on well Flea, maybe don't rush to do everything all at once, you don't want to undo all the brilliant work you have done together over the last few weeks. x

[duckles]

I think you are doing great Flea, there are always going to be spanners in the works and you coped with that one very well. Fi's advice of tackling spreads with a x pole in front is excellent (methinks) and if you can get those poly jumps (I think FIrenlady has them)- you'd be sorted for life. But your teacher will bring you through all of this anyway. We all have these bad days - don't dwell on them

[fimacg]

oh one more thing about spreads - technically an upright is harder to jump and get right as the spread actually encourages the horse to bascule over it, and as a tip try not to look at the fence but over it looking up that way it doesn't look as scary...

My bogy fence though is a rising spread - they terrify me and I can never get them right so we always loose either the front pole or the back pole as I instincitvely close down and it all goes pear shaped!

[fleabitten]

The spreads were all crosspoles with a pole on the back anyway, lol! Except one,we didnt even look near it when it was a spread. Thanks for your encouraging comments everyone

Its such a difficult dilemma because its taking things slowly versus pushing yourself thats the difficult thing. Its hard to know when to push yourself. I think if you go into something feeling confident and you give it a go, even if you fail its ok. But if you go into it being unsure and you fail then it just proves to you that trying isnt worth it etc. and your confidence dips.

Anyhow - on the positives, am hoping to ride tomorrow if the weather isnt too crap

[racaille]

All good advice above - especially Fi's tip on looking past and beyond the fence you are jumping. this absolutely crucial.

Flea, I don't know whether this will help you or not but by how you described your course I would tend to think Keiran's refusals/runouts were not his fault. You were tense and not feeling at your best. He trotted up to a jump and then stopped dead and finally did a bunny hop over it - this says to me that he is a nice chap and willing, but you didn't get him going actively towards the jump. Equally, in canter, he went 'flat' - this makes me think he was going either too fast or without engagement. If he dips out at the last minute, he is not happy with the approach. I know I keep banging on about approach, but I do think it is the key.

Your RI Helen sounds nice. If I were you I ask for some grid work - getting over jumps is just the same, but higher. Gridwork will help you sort out your approach and get the pair of you - Keiran and you - trusting each other.

I'm not sure about this pushing through your confidence barrier thing - challenging yourself with something that excites you a lot (and scares you a little) but being in tears is altogether a different thing. Don't rush. You've only had Kerian five minutes.

[Jen]

Apr 22, 2009 17:47:48 GMT fleabitten said:

Its such a difficult dilemma because its taking things slowly versus pushing yourself thats the difficult thing. Its hard to know when to push yourself. I think if you go into something feeling confident and you give it a go, even if you fail its ok. But if you go into it being unsure and you fail then it just proves to you that trying isnt worth it etc. and your confidence dips.

i know just wat you mean with this. as you know i ost my confidence recently, especially with umping yet on sunday i jumped a metre. this was only because the horse i was on had proved that i could put my trust in him to look after me, yes i pushed my self but only because i felt happy doing so and the situation was right. under different circumstances it might have been a different story.

with keirons help you have come on in leaps and bounds, everybody has a bad day and next time you jump WILL be better. pinky promise