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Post by dannyboy on May 10, 2008 15:04:56 GMT
Most of you know the story with Danny (16hh Trad Irish Cob) & wee (12hh) Nemo. I had went up to see them mid week and the little mans feet have been quite overgrown for some time now and he seemed in pain  . I had been complaining (quite diplomatically) to get a farrier and vet asap but this hasn't went down very well at all. I feel like a nuicence and there has been remarks made and I feel the owner has lost his patience with me. Why couldn't I keep my mouth shut? Can't believe it!!! I always knew getting Danny was going to be difficult - now they think I'm a trouble maker. I think they are going to pull out of loaning Danny to me. I'm devasted but I couldn't just turn a blind eye to the wee man being sore and uncomfortable. I have grown so attached to the boys that I'm terrified I may not get to see them anymore. What can I do to mend relations?  |
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Post by Maes Seren on May 10, 2008 15:43:55 GMT
Id speak to them, say that you feel for the horses welfare and in your opinion, theyre not sound due to the fact they need the farrier.
Im a great believer in whats meant to be happens, and if you dont end up getting Danny on loan, you'll find another horse whos even more gorgeous and much more suitable for you. If theyre that selfish and temperamental, that when someone who clearly loves horses tries to say that a horse needs a farrier, they kick off about it, then they might do it again later on once you do have him on loan and youre riding him and once youve grown even more attached.
But, you do need to talk to them. Explain your reasons, and back them up with facts. Dont get worked up when you speak to them, remain nice and calm and listen to what he has to say aswell.
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Post by kateflashy on May 10, 2008 16:01:35 GMT
i would of thought that having someone who showed concern for the horses welfare was a posetive for loaning them a horse
if thats thier attitude your really probely better off without them
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Post by duckles on May 10, 2008 18:30:50 GMT
Poor Dannyboy, the path in horse owning is not being easy. You did the right thing in pointing out to the owners your concerns about the feet- you could not do otherwise. Do you think they were offended as it implied that they didn't know what they were doing? If so perhaps it would be worth while trying to soften things a bit by saying that you were looking into all these things as you want to be a really good owner for Danny and no offence meant. However it they are just awkward or mean perhaps best to know now as it could mean trouble ahead.
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Post by dannyboy on May 10, 2008 21:44:41 GMT
Unfortunate thing is - the owner is family & really unwell (cancer). I don't particularly want to add to his trouble. Not a great time to push it.
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Post by Maes Seren on May 10, 2008 22:31:37 GMT
Well, im not sure how much a trim would cost over your way, but could you suggest you pay/go halves? At least say you'll pay for everything for Danny, take a weight off his mind, say you love looking after Nemo, you just cant afford to keep them both so is there any chance he could either pay for Nemos farrier etc, or at least give you some money towards it?
Suggest going halves or something?
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Post by brigadier on May 11, 2008 5:31:00 GMT
HI Danny
seems you are between a rock and a hard place! Always best to compromise- people will usually meet you half way.
I may be wrong but would guess that a lot of ponies get their feet left longer than is good for them out your way so you may be facing a bit of a struggle- 'fraid it doesnt bode well for the future though!
brig
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Post by dannyboy on May 11, 2008 18:34:05 GMT
The thing is - the owner know's I would even pay for the whole thing - he just doesn't like me interferring i.e. making him look a bit neglectful. I think his pride is a bit hurt.
I have been discussing it with my close family and they think I should possible just buy a horse of my own through time. That way I will be able to care for my own horse and not worry about somebody elses. Thing is - I will always worry about the 2 boys I think!!! They are constantly on my mind.
I hear from your topic's just how hard it is to get a horse to suit and I suppose that will be my next struggle. Going to definitely try to get away on a horsey break like you suggested Brig, think I really need the experience before getting my own.
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Post by brigadier on May 11, 2008 20:18:02 GMT
Whatever happens Dannyboy, will happen for the right reasons. We all have feelings for horses we dont and will never own. Thats what is so special about them, they capture our hearts. But I think the reality of your situation is becoming clear and perhaps you will never truly loan Danny as his real owners may not let go. Have a holiday, have some fun and YOUR horse will find you, when the time is right! Brig  |
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Post by Blonde Donkey on May 11, 2008 20:22:01 GMT
brigs right things happen for a reason. there was a reason we bought sunshine - mainly me begging for three hours! - there is a horse out there for everyone the only problem is finding them. you might be lucky and find them straight away or it might take a while.
Destiny never comes knocking you have to go out and get it!
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ceej
Administrator 
im back.... :)
Posts: 5,363
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Post by ceej on May 12, 2008 9:23:27 GMT
Totally agree with all of the above...
Step one may be to speak to this family member and try to build the bridge...you ahve offered so much for his horse - training, a good home, paying for everything - he cant expect you to do that and not get involved!!
Sometimes you get a niggling feeling something may not work out and that may be the case here. I think you need to talk with the owner and try to put down some ground rules for the future loaning - if he is ill, maybe your offer to take over the care is in his interests?. If ground rules cant be laid at this stage, then maybe you need to walk away before you have years of heartache, because it almost certainly wont change...
The other thing that may happen is that a discussion may really help everyone know where they stand. I think this family member thinks he is doing YOU a favour, when really it is at best equal, but more likely you are doing him the favour!!!
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Post by dannyboy on May 12, 2008 18:47:15 GMT
Brig I think you are right when you say that the owner will never let go. I think he has a pipe dream to use him with the trap again, so I might do all the work and then he would just take him away from me for himself - loan or no loan.
Ceej I think you may have pointed out the main problem for the owner * He thinks he's doing me the favour by loaning me Danny but I don't think he realises how much of a favour I would be doing for him. To be honest it would probably be like this all the time - he's a bit of a control freak!!!! Was up with the boys tonight but everyone out so I felt relaxed. Gonna just try and go up for the meantime when no-ones around. Have a lot to think about re: getting my own horse and funding it. Will prob have lots of questions in the near future for all you poor people!!!
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Post by duckles on May 12, 2008 22:04:37 GMT
I think the advice you got is really good so nothing i can add except to say I hope things work out for you (with or without Danny) and I think they will. And the other thing don't give up, horse owning is definitely worth all the problems it can bring. Good luck
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Post by ronansmum on May 13, 2008 9:14:53 GMT
I agree with brig and the others too Dannyboy. Good advice  I honestly think that I would distance myself from the boys for a wee while, there is only so much you can say and do, and if it is upsetting you so much to see Nemo's feet, then I'd leave him meantime. I know it is hard but the fact is the owner isn't listening, I know he is ill and his judgement is probably a bit off beam but you aren't going to change his mind at the moment. So don't burden yourself, as long as the wee man has grass and is on a soft surface he will probably fare ok. Or, or............ if it is really so bad and you can't stand it, how would it go down if you just got the farrier out to do the job and done with it? Not tell the owner? You'd be a very brave girl and might get into trouble but at least Nemo would be comfy again........ Tricky DB. Good luck but try to stop fretting... |
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. I had been complaining (quite diplomatically) to get a farrier and vet asap but this hasn't went down very well at all. I feel like a nuicence and there has been remarks made and I feel the owner has lost his patience with me. Why couldn't I keep my mouth shut? Can't believe it!!! I always knew getting Danny was going to be difficult - now they think I'm a trouble maker. I think they are going to pull out of loaning Danny to me. I'm devasted but I couldn't just turn a blind eye to the wee man being sore and uncomfortable. I have grown so attached to the boys that I'm terrified I may not get to see them anymore. What can I do to mend relations? 
for so much hard work we thank ye!!
