Post by Blonde Donkey on Jul 12, 2008 19:35:44 GMT
ACTUAL SENTENCES FOUND IN HOSPITAL PATIENT CHARTS:
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She has no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night.
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Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.
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On the second day the knee was better, and on the third day it disappeared.
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The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed.
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The patient has been depressed since she began seeing me in 1993.
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Discharge status: Alive but without my permission.
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Healthy appearing decrepit 69 year old male, mentally alert but forgetful.
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The patient refused autopsy.
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The patient has no previous history of suicide.
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Patient has left white blood cells at another hospital.
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Patient's medical history has been remarkably insignificant with only a 40lb weight gain in the past 3 days.
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Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.
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Between you and me, we ought to be able to get this lady pregnant.
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Since she can't get pregnant with her husband, I thought you might like to work her up.
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She is numb from her toes down.
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While in ER, she was examined, X-rated and sent home.
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The skin was moist and dry.
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Occasional, constant infrequent headaches.
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Patient was alert and unresponsive.
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Rectal examination revealed a normal size thyroid.
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She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life, until she got a divorce.
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I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical therapy.
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Both breasts are equal and reactive to light and accommodation.
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Examination of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized.
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The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.
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The patient was to have a bowel resection. However, he took a job as a stock broker instead.
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Skin: somewhat pale but present.
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The pelvic exam will be done later on the floor.
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Patient was seen in consultation by Dr. Blank, who felt we should sit on the abdomen and I agree.
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Large brown stool ambulating in the hall.
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Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities.
*
She has no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night.
*
Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.
*
On the second day the knee was better, and on the third day it disappeared.
*
The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed.
*
The patient has been depressed since she began seeing me in 1993.
*
Discharge status: Alive but without my permission.
*
Healthy appearing decrepit 69 year old male, mentally alert but forgetful.
*
The patient refused autopsy.
*
The patient has no previous history of suicide.
*
Patient has left white blood cells at another hospital.
*
Patient's medical history has been remarkably insignificant with only a 40lb weight gain in the past 3 days.
*
Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.
*
Between you and me, we ought to be able to get this lady pregnant.
*
Since she can't get pregnant with her husband, I thought you might like to work her up.
*
She is numb from her toes down.
*
While in ER, she was examined, X-rated and sent home.
*
The skin was moist and dry.
*
Occasional, constant infrequent headaches.
*
Patient was alert and unresponsive.
*
Rectal examination revealed a normal size thyroid.
*
She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life, until she got a divorce.
*
I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical therapy.
*
Both breasts are equal and reactive to light and accommodation.
*
Examination of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized.
*
The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.
*
The patient was to have a bowel resection. However, he took a job as a stock broker instead.
*
Skin: somewhat pale but present.
*
The pelvic exam will be done later on the floor.
*
Patient was seen in consultation by Dr. Blank, who felt we should sit on the abdomen and I agree.
*
Large brown stool ambulating in the hall.
*
Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities.
If you can't be a good example -- then you'll just have to be a horrible warning.
